The American Girl doll company may try to make you think their dolls are wholesome. They may appear teach children history and decent morals. They may look like they don’t promote unrealistic body images or sexualization of young girls the way Barbie and Bratz do. But don’t listen to those devils–the company that makes American Girl dolls is actually an evil force that supports the wicked ideas that women have a right to their own bodies, that birth control is an option, and that it’s okay to love people who are girls, too.

The Christian right is boycotting a company with an educational, uplifting product because the company supports Girls Inc., an organization that furthers the empowerment of women and girls, and promotes women’s right to contraception and to choose whether or not to have an abortion, as well as acceptance of same-sex relationships. Instead of buying any more American Girl dolls for their daughters, these good Christians will give them dolls with impossible figures and the message that materialism and popularity are the most important things in life. God forbid–apparently–that a someone give young girls a reality check about what truly matters and teach them history, and then turn around and donate to after-school programs that help underpriveleged girls climb out of poverty. Yes, your daughters will be safer and have stronger morals if you have them glorify Britney Spears, instead.

As we’ve known for ages, the Christian right has no room for women taking control of their own lives. Patriarchy–I’m sorry, I mean God–can’t allow that.